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About Deviant Artist Austin A. MaynardMale/United States Recent Activity
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It seems like everywhere I go on the internet where I try to be rational and fair my comments get buried in downvotes, or I get slandered because I don't perfectly agree with everyone else. This sucks because all I want to do is talk about things that I care about, but I rarely can because people just tell me to shut up one way or another.

I'm tired of it, and I've left a lot of boards now where people have been unfair to me when I was sure we'd get along. It always seems to come out of the blue while I'm trying to be patient and clear, and I really don't understand it.

I hate having to leave serious boards, because then all that leaves me is trivial hangouts where I can't talk about the things I'm really interested in. It's like if there's anything I care about, I'm just not allowed to talk about it at all, anywhere, unless I happen to agree perfectly with the community.

So here I am, a supporter of the men's rights movement, wondering if this is another community I have to abandon for what's left of my sanity. Is this really what life is? Is this is the best I can hope for? Careless misunderstandings and personal attacks or trivial time wasting?

If it turns out there isn't a literal, supernatural God, then a dog welcoming home a soldier will suffice. Atheists shouldn't be afraid to speak of the goodness of God, for if God is not love then instead love is God. True love is worthy of adoration and worship. Anyone who has seen or experienced this knows it. It is easiest to learn by watching and interacting with animals, especially birds and mammals. Many of these feel love and little else. Anyone who isn't completely disturbed will understand this. When exposed to pure, simple, genuine love don't we all feel we are on cusp of something magnificent? An eternal truth? The meaning of life. It's as if those who are carried away in live threaten to tear apart the veil between this world and some other, a platonic realm of truth, causing a terrible deluge of energies, the opposite of a black hole. I am overwhelmed to contemplate it. THIS is God, or God is this. God is either to be worshiped, or he IS worship. Though... if God is to be worshiped he is still likewise worship. 
And secondly, what is your favorite fruit?
I think I am a narcissist. I've lived my whole life with nothing but resentment, envy and insecurity. The friends who have seen me at my worst aren't my friends any more. I'm an evil little man with a dark void of longing inside me and nothing else.
I'm twenty-seven and I still feel like a child. I hate myself for it because I don't think I should feel that way. Like I need to cry, or to be held, to be properly 'cheered up' by someone who smiles and hugs and plays and makes me feel special and safe. Who is going to really be there for me like that? Once you're grown up they stop caring about you, it seems. They're guarded, uncomfortable, ashamed of you. Or maybe they don't, but you still have to compete with all the cute and loveable little people who need help just as desperately as you. On top of that depression makes it so much easier to be unlikeable, putt-offish, a bore, frustrating. It's difficult to tell who is real and who is faking for attention or parasitism.

I think I understand one thing now, though. In this epidemic of depression and suicide I think the role of technology may be unstressed. It's definitely stressed, but perhaps not enough. I know in my case one of the worst things is constantly feel like I live in a small house on a tiny island floating in absolute empty space. I cling to my internet connection for dear life, and it IS a lifeline. When it or the power goes down I find myself utterly derailed. It's funny because even if I'd planned for or could do other things like chores or reading or going for a walk or a swim, etc, A lot of times what I do instead is I panic slightly and just pace there waiting for the connection to come back. Even if there's nothing I want to do online, I must have it back. Without it truly feels like an gigantic part of me has been cut off.

Fascinating shit.

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Fan-tastic
Austin A. Maynard
Artist
United States

It seems like everywhere I go on the internet where I try to be rational and fair my comments get buried in downvotes, or I get slandered because I don't perfectly agree with everyone else. This sucks because all I want to do is talk about things that I care about, but I rarely can because people just tell me to shut up one way or another.

I'm tired of it, and I've left a lot of boards now where people have been unfair to me when I was sure we'd get along. It always seems to come out of the blue while I'm trying to be patient and clear, and I really don't understand it.

I hate having to leave serious boards, because then all that leaves me is trivial hangouts where I can't talk about the things I'm really interested in. It's like if there's anything I care about, I'm just not allowed to talk about it at all, anywhere, unless I happen to agree perfectly with the community.

So here I am, a supporter of the men's rights movement, wondering if this is another community I have to abandon for what's left of my sanity. Is this really what life is? Is this is the best I can hope for? Careless misunderstandings and personal attacks or trivial time wasting?

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:iconwaynebenedet:
WayneBenedet Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2015
Thank you for the :+fav:
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:iconwaynebenedet:
WayneBenedet Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2015
Thank you for the :+fav:
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:iconalloco:
Alloco Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2015
thank you so much for the fav!
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:icondaisymane:
daisymane Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

:) (Smile) Thank you very much for the fave! どうもありがとう!

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:iconphilippel:
philippeL Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fav :)
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:iconauldblue:
AuldBlue Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for faving! <3
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:iconlife-takers-crayons:
Life-takers-crayons Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2015
Thanks for the fav :)
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:iconrainspeak:
Rainspeak Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the faves! :)
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:iconkajm:
Kajm Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank thee for thy faveth!
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:iconmartonszucsstudio:
MartonSzucsStudio Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2014
Thanks for FAVE.
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