I used to think I wanted to be a theoretician. A philosopher. Then I realized how complicated life really is. No part of it is simple. Nothing follows only one rule. If you want to be honest with yourself and still figure anything out you might have to second guess 'till the end of your life, and even then there's no guarantee you'll understand. Some people can do that, or think they can. Some people enjoy it. Not me. Sometimes I think I do, but then I try to do it and eventually begin to contemplate suicide. I need to learn to think much less and live so much more. That's dangerous, but perhaps not so dangerous as being safe, dying slowly in a corner.